We Cannot Choose. Why? Why? Why?

Once, I really wanted to study at a vocational school after my secondary three. But I ended up becoming a Science-stream student at a stupid school. I hated that so much. After I completed my STPM, I really, really wanted to be a lawyer. This time, I was again fcuked-up. I was offered a stupid course at KUSTEM. I did not even apply for the programme of Bachelor of Management in Policy and Social Environment. I hated that as well. Presently, I hate to become a teacher. I don't even like to write lesson plans but this is what I have to do before each of my every lesson. But there is one thing I enjoy to do. I like to learn English. I want to perfect my English. The only thing is, I hate to teach English. I really want to break away from the wall of hypocrisy. After all , I have been wearing the mask that covers all the things I hate so much. I want to take it off right now.